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"You are forgetting yourself, Tina, aren't you? But you won't do thattomorrow, will you? Not with me, not with James - and especially notwith Paul. OK?"My eyes pleaded.She continued, her voice more stern, "I want to see you doing anythingand everything you are told, Tina. Whatever we want, we get.Understood?'One press. Curtsy.She eventually let me breathe again, although she waited until I reallyfelt that I was going to pass out. I rushed back to my room, changed andwashed quickly and cuffed myself to the bed. I was shaking - I guess withfear - as I was finding that my body was beginning to have a life of itsown and it was as if my mind was just part of the audience.I lay on the bed, unable to see or speak and with the sound of MissAllie's voice maybe a bit louder in my ears, continuing to tell me that Iwanted nothing else but to do her will. I was beginning to feelcomfortable with her voice telling me that.It can't have been too long before I felt her fix the dildo into mymouthpiece. Men's clothing is boring; women's clothing exciting. Womenexpressed themselves through their clothing, men weren't supposed toexpress themselves at all.All through my teenaged years my crossdressing experimentation continuedand expanded but was limited to what of my mother's clothing I couldactually fit into. I had to be careful to fold and place the clothingback exactly as I found it but I took the risk of being found out for Ihad to satisfy what was to become a lifelong crossdressing compulsion.At one point my mother figured it out and discreetly asked me to stayout of her dresser but didn't press the issue any further. I think shethought it was just a "phase" I was going through. Little did she or Iknow that the "phase" would last a lifetime.My father, if he knew, didn't want to know, and for the most part wasaloof and disengaged, hiding behind his newspaper every night; theformative experience of having an aloof father and a thoroughly engagedmother probably contributed to my.
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